Ugh, what a blucky day, gosh I haven’t used that word in a long while. For those unfamiliar, blucky is a combination of the words blah and yucky. Pretty original huh? Funerals are never fun. No matter whom they are for, the potential for fun is never there. But it’s a funeral so why should it be fun. As noted to those around me, I will NOT be giving a funeral or any other such nonsense, when I depart this earth I want the people I love and care about to enjoy the day. But that is a whole other story.
So back to today’s events. I of course was late. It’s hard to get out of bed on a rainy Saturday morning. I met with my parents and headed to Amsterdam. That God forsaken city makes me want to vomit. I know, I’m being harsh, but I’m blucky. Amsterdam, NY has nothing to offer. Not one single thing. Just driving in there made me depressed. Yes we should all be proud of our hometowns. I disagree; my hometown sucks.
So what is worse than being in Amsterdam? Being in Amsterdam for a funeral. I haven’t been to one in a long while, so I was completely out of practice. The first thing I notice is that the funeral parlor looked like a Vegas wedding chapel, tacky chandeliers, awful rugs, tattered seats and “sun-burnt” curtains. It was just depressing. Add an urn of ashes to the mix and the impromptu wedding turns into a funeral. I must sound like such a bitch; I have to remember that I’m honoring the life of my grandfather. One whom I didn’t know all that well, but all the same he is family so may he rest in peace.
Pan back to the funeral, the music situation was a nightmare. Don’t even get me started. Needless to say my services were not needed, that was being covered by Yanni on the church organ (a CD from QVC I’m sure). I was wearing a suit that made me look like Harpo Marx and on top of that, I’m sweating my ass. I blame my sister for saying her internal body temperature was perfect.
On the other hand, it was great to see my family. Instead of being emotional about the whole situation, I’m acting like Mr. Touch Guy…er…Mr. Bitchy Gay. This certainly makes me look at how fortunate I am. I have an amazing, caring family and having all of us come together was a great thing (too bad it was under such bad circumstances). But as I like to think…good things come from the bad. I’m tired and still blucky, so I’m going to wrap this sucker up. The rest of my weekend will be spent being a somewhat decent grandson. I will return on Tuesday.
RIP Grandpa Joe.
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